You Don't Have to Solve Every Problem by Yourself

Imagine you were driving. It was the age without Google Maps. You were lost. You missed an exit on the highway. You were running late to whatever you were running into. You were in a place you had never been. You worried the other people in the car would think you were an idiot. You were frustrated yet you were not willing to ask for help. You pretended you knew what you were doing and kept driving in the wrong direction.

This is pretty close to how I felt when I was in London.

I knew it was time to stop the car. I knew it was time for a change when I got sick in March. As I was lying in bed in pain, I could pinpoint all the decisions that led me to that precise point in life. I was vulnerable. I knew forcing myself forward didn’t work.

Then I realize I am not alone. I don’t have to solve every problem by myself. Things won’t be any better if I place all the burdens on my shoulders. My wife is sitting right next to me the entire time. She knows I am lost a long time ago but she chooses not to say a word. Being a mother of two, she is in a place she has never been. She is as lost as I am. She is navigating her way out as well. But the biggest difference between us is how we approach problems.

She will make it clear that it’s okay for me to tell her what the problems are. She hates it when I don’t tell her the issues we face as a family. She will make it clear that I don’t have to pretend I know everything. She hates it when I don’t ask for help. She will make it clear that we are facing the world together. She hates it when I keep everything inside.

I don’t know how lucky I am to be loved by someone like her. Together we have grown from teenagers to adults. Together we have traveled around the world. Together we have become parents. This is to remind myself that I’ll never be alone on this journey that we call life.

See you next week.

My wife was on the back of the motorbike. Phnom Penh, Cambodia. Summer 2013.