I’ve avoided facing my feelings for years.
The conflicts, the tension, the misunderstanding, the tears, the mistakes, the regrets, the fear, the anger, the confusion and the pain. Oh, the pain.
It feels good not to talk about them. It’s good to keep them inside the box.
Before I started writing, whenever there was a chance to open that box, I chose not to do it. I made up stories. I told myself I’d be happier to be a listener. I was the one to listen. But I wasn’t ready to share. Life was fine. Let’s move on.
It took me a while to realize this strategy didn’t work so well over the long term. The more I shy away from my feelings, the more I let go of those precious lessons my heart was trying to teach me.
My heart kept trying and trying. And it got frustrated every once in a while. Then it yelled at me. Trust me. It wasn’t fun.
And I’ve learned my lessons.
We are not perfect.
We are not robots running with a built-in AI.
We are humans.
We have flaws.
And that’s okay.
It’s okay if you have feelings.
It’s okay if it hurts when you fall.
It’s okay if you make a mistake.
It’s okay if you don’t know all the answers.
It’s okay if you disappoint a few people who don’t really matter.
It’s okay if you let go of the things and mindsets that don’t serve you anymore.
It’s okay if you fail to live up to the identities you set for yourself years ago.
It’s okay to be not okay sometimes.
It’s okay as long as you have the courage to start accepting your wrongs and to start repairing them.
What matters is not to keep making the same mistakes.
And the first step is to talk about our feelings, especially the negative ones. Yes, it can be painful. But that’s exactly why we should start talking about them.
So, let’s check in.
How are you feeling right now?
See you next week.
Feelings are real tough. It required so much effort to be able to sit with it and truly peel back what I feel instead of just going "I need to stop being angry because it's not worth it"