If you are new here, welcome!
This is part of a 5-week series in which I interview a few of my favorite writers and share our conversations with you.
You can learn more about each of them in this post.
If I were to describe Kev in one word, it would be love. It is what we need after all.
Tell us a bit about yourself and what's on top of your mind.
I've read so much about our many 'selves' that I now feel almost paralysed by this question haha. This was typically my own version back in the day - through the angle of the clothes I'd choose to wear today or tomorrow.
On that topic, I've read lately the multitudes of self and Nick's reflections on identity, I highly recommend it. It's actually been an idea of mine a while ago -especially to finally fill up that /about page on my own blog - to just copy paste any 'intro' I've ever sent. You know like when you onboard on that discord server for instance or when you just joined this new boxing club and they're asking you to introduce yourself the first day. Cause I know I might not have introduced myself twice the same way. And yet, I've never lied, it's always me. Okay I'm circumventing the question now haha, let's go back to it.
I'm a father, a husband and a builder. I have two boys who turned 5 and 3 y/o a few months ago. I'll celebrate my 19th anniversary with my wife -Mathilde- at the end of Oct. And I celebrated last summer 10 years of building stuff with her and our 3rd co-founder Max. We embed memories into clothing; and we do this through soirées -parties with a french touch. People bring a piece of clothes they own at our soirée and local tailors sew uniquely designed woven labels with nfc chips inside so then we can all play and stay connected with each other; as well as imbue our garments with history through the labels.
Top of mind right now is our 2nd soirée that will take place in less than 2 weeks in San Francisco: Oct. 4th. (update: the next one will be in Paris on Jan 23rd, 2025)
How do you feel at this moment in life?
Lucky, in love and loved, at peace. I'm aware I've built something special with Mathilde. I love her always more -like I literally fall in love all over again every day. Both our kids are healthy, full of energy and curiosity -which is a blessing- and they laugh intensely every day. I've never fully realized before how powerful a loud and genuine kid's laugh is. Like it's a proper magic potion at our disposal. It works all the time.
Of course I feel challenged too. Being well in my 30's now, I see how my body needs more time to ressource and recover -especially since two of my favorite sports are quite harsh on it: skateboarding and boxing. I see how fast I can gain weight and how harder and slower it is to lose all the extra then. Professionally speaking -and while I feel energized and inspired as never before- I'm not in the situation I'd want to; i.e. being based full time in San Francisco. I'm going after a problem really close to heart but these days are frustrating too.
What is the biggest lesson you’ve learned from your parents?
Surviving and thriving is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Constantly and genuinely seeing the glass half-full instead of half-empty is a choice. In retrospect I realize how powerful and liberating all these lessons are. Like it gave me the agency and the desire to act on everything.
2 other things played a big role:
I've been given a lot of freedom since a very young age [I wrote here about how by the age 6 I was walking alone to school -1km long across several neighborhood in the 2nd biggest city in France] which definitely trained my own confidence.
I've been raised by a single mum -plus I had a younger brother- and we saw her fight everyday, literally. So between her and her parents they taught us these lessons above by embodying them, like they showed us really. They almost never said them or insisted on them out loud. Which is extremely powerful. I can see that now with my own kids. The best lessons are shown, not said.
What have you experienced that has changed the way you live?
Kids. I can think of many things that impacted me over the years -like living across 4 continents for the past 15 years- but truth be told, the biggest before/after moment was definitely becoming a father. I can't even find the right words to describe it -many writers, poets, artists before me did a way better job at that anyway. Look, Mathilde -my other half- started to publish some stuff about it -about the importance of doula for instance- I highly recommend obviously.
How do you define happiness?
Like I wrote already: a choice. I started questioning this word -happiness- more and more recently though. Like I'm not so sure this is really what I want to maximize in my life. Versus a combination of 'peace' x 'joy'. I find both these words more 'complete' and pragmatic.
So for me now, being happy might just mean a mix of (a) feeling at peace -which is the ideal state to constantly be at- and (b) experiencing joy as intensely as possible.
Joy is actually pretty simple to encounter in our daily lives, at least as long as you're paying attention -oh yeah, that's the trick: the physical world contains way more 'joy potential' than the online one. Think: kids laughing out loud [of course, a special feeling when they're yours], strangers just met who's asking you a deep question while looking right into your eyes, rays of sun on your skin, something beautiful -a smile, a piece of art, architecture, a person, a sound etc... There are countless examples.
What I really prefer with joy -compared to happiness- is that (a) it seems way simpler to feel and (b) it reminds me of the ephemerality of it all. That's the main challenge with 'happiness'. People start wondering if they're happy, and if they're not, they switch into failure mode. But being happy all the time isn't life. While with the word 'joy' you don't expect to experience it all the time. You know it's a fleeting sensation. I find that reassuring.
Who is your favorite writer, and why?
Wow, that's a challenging one. Usually I'd have slept on the question for a few days but since I'm late let's try to have a more 'instinctive' answer. You know I'll give you a few names though. I'll try to categorize them all.
Still alive and blogging online -well, one of them published a book already: Om Malik, Yancey Strickler and Henrik Karlsson. They're all extremely thoughtful and well balanced. Balance is the goal, always, but human nature doesn't help here. We tend to think and act as a pendulum -both on a personal and collective level by the way- constantly swinging from one extreme to the other. The 3 of them speak to parts of me. Om on technology, Yancey on creativity, and Henrik on life [partnering, parenting].
Also alive: Alain de Botton. The way he popularizes philosophy is unparalleled. He also wrote a lot about our current society and some important topics like status, love or happiness.
Among the dead, I have to mention Stefan Zweig first. I think his books made me travel like no others -Magellan is a masterpiece. Ivan Illich is a favorite as well. He had so many lives. And his critics of the institutions in general spoke to me -Deschooling Society resonated a lot too. I also always loved his work on conviviality. This is such an important part of our humanity. We're all about connections and meaning after all.
Imagine this writer was standing right in front of you and you can ask one question, what would you ask?
Okay I see what I've done with the previous question now haha. In general, there is one question I love to ask and I could totally see myself asking it to these people above: 'how do you feel?'. Yep, funnily enough, you also asked me that question. From there, it's usually very easy to continue with some combination of 'what do you mean?' and 'why?' and it very often leads to some interesting places, let's say.
Another question I like to ask is: 'what would you want to be sure to pass on to your kids? and why?'. It usually tells a lot about the person, his/her values, how he/she sees the world and what it could become.
Kev is like a DJ who picks the right kind of music, articles, ideas, and cool stuff with such unique tastes and styles. I am like a fan who can just relax and follow the tones he plays within the audience. I guess the French have that special touch on whatever they do.
Before you go, check out the “Le New Consumer” Manifesto of the Objet. It is the heart of Kev, Mathilde, and Max.
Up next, Rish.
I hope you have a wonderful holiday break with your loved ones.
See you next year.
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